Victim or Victor?
By Shawn Harris
Sometimes tragic & hurtful things are done to us. Unfortunately some of us have been raped. Some of us have been assaulted. Many of us have in some way on some level been taken advantage of. We’ve had our hearts broken. Some of us were born poor & we think our lives don’t matter. A few of us have been betrayed & abandoned. We’ve been a victim at some point in our lives. And no matter how hard we try to hide the hurt, it pops up from time to time. It appears in the form of extremely shy or anti-social behavior. It’s evident in our inability or unwillingness to trust others. It can be seen in our dysfunctional lives & rocky relationships. We are overly defensive, paranoid & combative. There are others among us who simply seem sad. We feel beaten, defeated & frustrated. Our self-esteem is low. We feel hopeless. We make poor decisions out of a sense of despair & self-hate. We always identify with being the victim. But we don’t have to feel like a victim. We don’t have to feel bitter & broken. Please don’t misunderstand me. Rape or molestation is a tragedy. Cancer & disease can be tragic. Don’t get it twisted. Being robbed & assaulted is a tragedy. Being shot or stabbed is tragic. Being misled, deceived & taken advantage of can be tragic. To be bullied & picked on, ridiculed & discriminated against and humiliated can also be tragic. To be abandoned and forgotten is tragic. The pain is real. The damage is definitely real. But tragedy transforms you. Meaning, you don’t go through a tragedy and come out the same. You can either become stronger than before, or you can become weaker. The choice is yours. You are the determining factor. Your attitude, your thought process, your mentality determines how the tragedy affects your life. Misery is optional & so is happiness. It’s a choice. You can acknowledge what has happened, but you don’t have to dwell on it. You don’t have to mentally bathe & wallow in it until it destroys you. You can be the victim or you can be the victor. In time, you can rebuild, restore & redeem yourself. Or, you can drown in sorrow & self-pity. Self-pity: a self-indulgent lingering on one’s own sorrows or misfortunes… Beyond the pain, is a very special place inside you. Beyond the damaged outer layer there exist an untouched and unblemished inner layer. Pristine & powerful, strong & radiant. That inner layer is called spirit. Your divine core. Your eternal essence, spirit can’t be raped or molested. Spirit can’t be attacked & assaulted. It can’t be bullied, battered or bruised. Spirit doesn’t get tired, wore down or grow old. Spirit doesn’t become diseased or cancerous. Spirit is divine intelligence. Raw energy. It is consciousness. Transcending gender, race & ethnicity, class, rank or social status. It ain’t black or white, rich or poor, male or female, young or old. Spirit is unlimited source of energy. It is God inside you. If you close your eyes & quiet your mind. Whether through prayer meditation or introspection. The answer to all your questions can be heard. Our lives are so chaotic. There’s so much happening rapidly. Internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Work, school, sports, relationships. Our focus is always external, outside of self. When do we make time to look inside ourselves? When does it all slow down? Well, there’s a small voice in the back of our minds. It warns us when we’re in danger. It calms us when we worry. Whether called a guardian angel or conscience. We hear it even when we’re multitasking, there’s still a part of us that watching, observing every activity. The spirit can’t be physically touched, yet it can be heard & felt only by you, because it’s in you. It’s your essence. Your boyfriend or some strange man can’t sexually assault your essence. Nobody can steal from it, stab it or shoot it. A dead beat dad can’t abandon it. A parent can’t abuse it. You can’t prostitute it, degrade it, or pollute it. That special space is pure. And once you become aware of your purity. When you accept the fact that deep in your being you are whole, then you’ll understand you’re not a victim. You aren’t broken & bruised, diseased, defeated or disgusting. You don’t have to be bitter & afraid, haunted & hurt. You’re not a victim, you’re the victor. The winner. The criminal is the loser. The rapist is the loser. The bully, the manipulator, the deadbeat parent is the loser. The thief, the cheater, the molester, the hater, the racist is the loser. They may have attempted to crush your world and wreck your life, but they only scratched the surface. They cannot truly touch or tamper with your spirit. And through time, if you use time wisely, you will shine from inside out. You will glow & thrive, as nothing can prevent you from earning your destiny. Remember, destiny is to be earned & achieved, not to be waited for. You have to do your part. Whatever counseling that’s necessary, do your part. Whatever legal proceeding necessary, do your part. Whatever therapy that’s necessary, do your part. But in between all of that, make time; take time out for prayer, meditation, or introspection. Take 15 minutes daily to quiet yourself, to quiet your mind. Listen to your heart, find your guardian angel. Find the God within. Find that inner voice. Let your spirit bring you the clarity, comfort and mental healing. Draw strength from your spirit. Choose victory. You are not the victim. You are the victor.